BEKERJA DALAM KUMPULAN : Emosi dan Komunikasi

Ramai yang mengakui bahawa bekerja dalam kumpulan memerlukan banyak kemahiran. Antara kemahiran yang penting ialah kebolehan bergaul dengan baik.

Bergaul dengan baik pula memerlukan kemaihan berkomunikasi. Cara komunikasi sering dilihat sebagai cara kita berbual-bual dan bercakap-cakap. Ini pula melibatkan bahasa dan kesan penampilan diri seseorang.

Saya pernah diberitahu oleh seorang rakan sekerja. Beliau merupakan seorang yang ceria dan suka meggembirakan orang lain. Suatu hari beliau berkata, “Puan, pekerja saya yang baru masuk itu, susah betul mahu faham!”

“Apa yang susah difahami?” tanya saya semula.

“ Pekerja baru ini. Apabila saya bercakap mukanya macam itu juga. Saya tanya faham. Faham katanya. Muka dia tidak ada emosi langsung!” sambungnya lagi.

Saya teringat juga beberapa orang rakan saya semasa bekerja dahulu. Mereka juga pernah bercerita perkara yang sama. Apabila kita bekerja dalam kumpulan, sudah tentu kita mempunyai ahli kumpulan yang mempunyai keunikan masing-masing.

Namun, sesekali kita akan bertemu dengan rakan sekerja yang kurang atau tidak langsung menunjukkan emosi. Adakalanya, mereka kelihatan serius sepanjang masa. Ada pula yang kelihatan gembira dan santai sepanjang masa.

Seorang rakan sekerja saya yang agak muda juga mempunyai ciri sebegitu. Beliau masih muda dan mempunyai banyak pengalaman menguruskan pasukan. Walaupun begitu, ada satu karakter beliau yang tidak semua orang boleh terima.

Beliau jarang menunjukkan sebarang emosi pada wajahnya. Pada kebanyakan masa beliau hanya kelihatan serius. Sesekali beliau ketawa apabila memang ada bahan jenaka yang melucukan.

Pernah saya lihat dalam satu meyuarat, beliau kelihatan sepeti tidak ambil endah akan topik perbincangan. Namun, apabila tiba giliran beliau memberikan input, semuanya bernas dan bagus sekali.

Rakan sekerja beliau juga memberikan komen yang sama. Ada masalah untuk bekerja dengan beliau atas alasan tidak faham yang menjadikan salah faham dan tidak puas hati antara satu sama lain.

Adakalanya, apabila berhadapan dengan individu dengan karakter sebegini, kita juga perlu mengenepikan kebiasaan. Kita juga perlu menyelaras semula jangkaan kita kepada individu berkenaan.

Untuk mengawal emosi sendiri dan berurusan dengan individu seperti ini, antara yang boleh dilakukan ialah:

[1] Fokus kepada hasil perbincangan.

[2] Penekanan lebih diberikan kepada partisipasi dan pergerakan tugas.

[3] Tidak mengambil hati akan sebarang reaksi muka dan gaya bahasa badan yang ditunjukkan.

[4] Berikan sepenuh kepercayaan atas kredibiliti dan kebolehan beliau melebihi daripada apa emosi yang beliau tunjukkan.

[5] Berikan sokongan dengan memuji hasil kerja yang memberikan kesan positif meskipun ia kelihatan ringkas dan kecil.

Dalam kehidupan seharian juga, adakalanya kita banyak menghabiskan masa memikirkan emosi dan cuba mendapatkan jawapan kepada ‘apa agaknya yang dia fikirkan’. Ini juga kita selalu sebut sebagai aktiviti ‘membaca fikiran’ orang lain.

Bekerja dalam kumpulan biasanya sering menyebabkan kita mengambil masa untuk ‘membaca fikiran’ orang. Belum dapat maklumat, kita sudah fikirkan macam-macam. Baru lihat rakan sekerja masuk dengan mata merah, kita sudah memikirkan segala macam kemungkinan tentang rakan kita itu.

Dalam organisasi kerja yang mementingkan hasil, fokus kepada pencapaian dan sasaran membolehkan kita menjaga emosi diri sendiri tanpa mengganggu prestasi kerja. Ini juga perlu diseimbangkan dengan keperluan manusia untuk bercerita, bercakap-cakap dan didengari akan percakapannya itu.

Kemahiran bercakap-cakap dan berbual-bual memboleh seseorang itu mengatasi situasi bekerja dengan mereka yang sukar menunjukkan emosi atau menunjukkan gaya bahasa badan yang bertentangan dengan apa yang mereka katakan.

Memenuhi keperluan emosi tidak seharusnya mengorbankan tujuan dan hasil kerja asal kita dalam organisasi.

What is our sharing lesson?

It becomes a trend to hit ‘share’ button on any social media platform. It is available in most platforms while different terms and icons are used. Well, people always say, “Sharing is caring.”
But, what will you share?

What exactly share means to us?

Still, in general, we do share to benefit others while keeping ourselves to be treated fair.

When we talk about sharing, in relates closely with another word, ‘privacy’.

How far do we share that we can ensure our privacy is protected?

Once my daughter said to me, “Mom, sharing is caring.” Later, she was asking me to share my pizza with her.

It was OK. But, I realized that I have to ensure that she understands the true concept of sharing.

Share can only happened when it is permissible. Share needs to be done in proper manner to keep everyone in harmony.

Through social media, people share:

+ photos
+ information
+ facts
+ ideas
+ news
+ stories
…. and the list goes on.

 

Sharing will be more beneficial when it:

+ inspires others
+ changes people life (into something better)
+ encourages other
+ enriching lives
+ makes people happy
+ invite new thoughts and idea
… and the list goes on.

I did ask my children to ‘share’ a lot of things. But, there are also times and things that they can’t share with others.

When it relates to personal matters, “Talk to me first. Tell me and I will help you.”
When it comes to technical matters, “You can share with your friends in class or ask your teachers immediately.”

At the end of the day, they agreed that what they share need to have the right basis. There are many things that we keep to ourselves, and there are much more that we can share with others.

Even among the siblings, boys and girls can’t share everything.

Being a mother who lives in a house with 6 other children ranging from teenager to preschoolers, it becomes a challenge for me to maintain the ‘sharing’ culture in harmony.

Getting them to understand about sharing is an interesting journey.

Sharing does not necessary makes everyone and everything equals.

It rather makes everyone receive what he needs.

 

My daughters might need more dress, and the boys need more pants.
My teenage son might need more toiletries compared to my little girls.
He might need more expensive reference books compared to cheaper sets of exercise books for the younger ones.

As a mother, I need to share the resources that I have, fairly and not necessary the same for each and every one of them.

Sharing the same resources is another lesson to be learnt.
The best lessons come from HOME.

We as mothers (fathers), become the important resources to be shared, with the people in our ‘home’.

Sharing is about agreeing to give what others need, within our capacity, while keeping everyone in harmony. It gives benefit to others, while maintaining privacy and our own rights.

 

So, what is your ‘sharing’ story?

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RAIKAN KEJAYAAN KECIL, MESKIPUN DI JALANAN

Pagi tadi, seperti biasa, saya memandu ke pejabat. Perjalanan dari rumah saya di Kajang ke pejabat hampir 40 kilometer. Saya memilih untuk melalui lebuh raya keluar terus ke Balakong, kemudian melalui MRR2 menghala ke Gombak.

Seperti biasa, jalan tidak pernah kosong. Melalui laluan jalan yang besar, namun kenderaan masih banyak. Saya lihat jam sudah menunjukkan jam 8.30 pagi.

Meskipun perjalanan hanya 40 km, ia boleh mengambil masa antara 90 – 120 minit. Pemanduan saya juga setenang pagi itu. Kereta banyak, namun trafik memang lancar. Sepanjang jalan banyak benar lori dan kenderaan besar. Saya memandu seperti biasa di lorong tengah.

Tiba-tiba, tanpa saya sedar, sebuah lori yang dipandu di laluan kiri sekali masuk ke laluan tengah dengan mengejut dalam keadaan saya berada disebelahnya.

Saya segera menekan brek dengan kuat untuk memberi laluan kepada lori itu melepasi kereta yang saya pandu. Oleh kerana pemandu lori itu memandu laju, dan kereta di belakang saya agak jauh, tiada apa-apa berlaku.

Saya tidak berkata apa-apa dalam keadaan terkejut itu, Malah, tidak langsung saya terfikir untuk membunyikan hon kereta. Saya meneruskan pemanduan di lorong tengah sementara lori tadi sudah dihadapan dan masuk semula ke lorong kiri sekali.

Apabila saya hampir semula dengan kedudukan lori itu, saya lihat pemandu lori itu, mengeluarkan tangan beliau dengan isyarat yang saya faham sebagai, “Maafkan saya. Saya tidak nampak kereta Puan tadi.”

Saya pula dengan spontan mengangkat tangan kiri saya menandakan, “ Tidak mengapa.” Tanpa sedar, saya senyum.

Indahnya berbicara dijalanan bersama pemandu lain dengan bahasa yang datang dari ‘hati’. Saya gembira.

Saya teringat, pernah satu hari, saya dihon oleh pemandu di belakang. Pemanduan saya agak biasa dengan kelajuan 80km/jam di lorong tengah. Memandangkan jalan agak sibuk, saya mengambil masa untuk masuk ke lorong kiri sekali untuk membolehkan beliau memotong. Lorong kanan sekali juga agak sibuk.

Selepas beliau memotong, beliau membunyikan hon hampir 3 kali sambil mengangkat tangan dengan isyarat yang saya faham sebagai, ”Apa pandu lambat sangat? Tak tahu ke orang nak cepat ni?”

Pernah satu ketika yang lain, semasa memandu di lorong paling kiri, saya tidak nampak langsung ‘signal’ yang diberikan oleh sebuah treler panjang yang mahu membelok ke kiri. Maklumlah, kereta yang saya pandu itu saiznya sangat kecil berbanding dengan semua kenderaan di atas jalan raya.

Apabila sedar bahawa kepala lori mula membelok, saya memberhentikan kereta. Tidak sampai 10 saat, pemandu lori itu keluar, juga memberikan isyarat tangan kepada saya. Isyarat yang saya faham, “Hoi, tak ada otak ke? Saya nak masuk kirilah!”

Ini hanya sebahagian insiden yang saya lalui sepanjang 12 bulan yang pernah saya ingat dengan jelas. Saya mula terfikir.

Apakah ada banyak situasi jalanan yang boleh kita jadikan panduan?

Agaknya, berapa banyakkah panduan yang boleh dikumpul dari pengalaman memandu 40km ke pejabat (80km termasuk perjalanan pulang) setiap hari?

Selama ini, hampir ¼ daripada waktu siang setiap hari yang saya habiskan memandu itu, pelajaran apakah yang saya kutip? (selain daripada rasa penat yang amat)

Insiden yang berlaku sepanjang pemanduan itu, memberikan kesan kepada emosi seharian kita. Dalam apa juga situasi, reaksi yang kita tunjukkan adalah kesan daripada emosi kita.

[1] Bagaimana kita bermula akan memberi kesan kepada keseluruhan perjalanan kita.

[2] Emosi kita adalah faktor yang kita boleh kawal.

[3] Bertenang dan menerima keadaan (fakta) membolehkan kita berfikir dengan lebih baik.

[4] Kita bertanggungjawab ke atas setiap keputusan yang kita ambil dan reaksi yang kita buat.

[5] Rutin yang membosankan akan bertambah menekan apa bila kita berhenti menikmati pencapaian-pencapaian kecil meskipun di jalanan.

Mengawal marah, memaafkan orang lain serta berlapang dada adalah antara kejayaan yang boleh kita raikan.

Ada banyak kejayaan kecil, yang mesti kita raikan, meskipun ia hanya pengalaman jalanan.

.

Growth in Business : Beyond Sales.

I had a chance to meet up with a few old friends few months back. It was kind of a ‘meeting’ but what we did was enjoying our lunch. Our story revolves around our daily life, families and business. Though it was not a well-planned meet up, we had a chance to gather information and exchange experience of current and past.

“So, how’s your new business?” asked one of my friends who sat next to me while I was enjoying my food.

“Oh, which one?” I grinned.

“Oh, how did you plan to exit your business earlier? We were thinking of doing something new next year. What do you think?”

“I believe you have a plan ready in mind.” I smiled to them.

“You see, exiting from what we are now needs a plan. Personally, I took 3 years to see clearly of what exactly is my exit plan.”

“3 years?” both of them looked at me.

“Yes. Well, you know. It was kind of a lonely journey. Though we manage the business well, we did not think much about the company growth. We had little understanding about doing business with new partners and how to build our company. “

I stopped as I saw all eyes were on me. I know that I have to continue.

“We are in a business where everything is there, including the brand and the system. We are happy with the income and the bank statement that we receive every month. After a while, I personally came to a stage of thinking, what’s next?” I saw them nodding as they listened to what I just said.

“People told us that it is normal to take business loan and bank facilities. But, we hardly get the right advice on using the best way of building our company. Many advised us on sales, people and system in our business.

We can have a lot of money and be happy with our sales in our company. But, what’s next? How about the growth of the company? When can we move on to the next business venture? When can we have more new partners in the company? “

“Yeah, I think I got your point. I guess, our current business is not really ours.” said the girl in front of me.

“What do you mean?” asked the one sat next to me.

She continued, “You see. Customers are not in our control. Once our business is only about sales, I don’t see the way to move forward. If our objectives is only to make money with one company, than, we can simply continue with what we do now.”

I continue to focus on my food, which was left alone for few minutes ago.

She continued,” I think I understand now. I am also imagining that I have a business, which grow with the people. I would want to be somewhere else and still able to have a steady income.”

“I guess, we have to decide whether we still wanted to work in the business or on the business.” said, the girl sat next to me, softly but loud enough for everyone to hear.

The three of us enjoyed our lunch that day with our mind full of thoughts. As I went home, I realized that there are so much that we need to learn in business.

[1]

We learnt a lot about developing our business based on one company. We grow our sales, but not our business.

[2]

We know that we need to build our business, and the company is a platform and a vehicle for us to move on.

We only think about who will take over our business and continue it when we are not around, when we already half way in the business. We are not exposed on how to have a good succession plan in mind, right from the beginning.

[3]

We have heard many success stories from all over the world. We hardly being told that growing in business need a skill and knowledge about ‘company building’.

[3]

We attended many trainings, courses and receive advises mainly to start, increase and maintain the revenue of the business in a company. We were not being exposed to the fact that a business grow, with a group of people through a process of building more than one company.

[4]

We have seen many businesses grow through their family lines and members. Little that we know about those husband and wife, parents and children who were in business had a company structure that allows them to do business professionally.

They might look as if they are working in the same company, where actually they are working only in the same corporation but in different companies.

‘Exit plan’ in a business is a process. Succession plan is not an event.

Making a new Decision : Finding a Way Out

I had once lost in a shopping mall while carrying my 2 months going-to-be-born baby. It was an experience which I can’t recall why would I forgot where did I park my car.

Well, it was 12 years ago in the closest shopping mall to my home. Coming home after work with my stepson who was only 4 years old at that time, we decided to drop by to the nearest mall. It was the normal, usual, weekly shopping place for our family.

Upon exiting the mall, entering the car park, I realized that “it was not the same’ place as I entered to park my car. I held my son’s hand and make at least 3 rounds at the same level to find my car.

Then, we move down to the lower level as I thought that I might be at the wrong level. Up to the second round, my son said softly, ”Mom, can we take a taxi home?”

I looked at him and I know that he was tired. I said, “Nobody will get our car later. Wait, let us find it together.” He nodded slowly and I know he was trying his best to say yes to me.

I then brought my son to move back in the mall. We found exactly the door that we entered earlier. There was a nice bench nearby and I asked him to sit with me. I said, “Let’s take a rest for a while. “ I smiled, though I know he was tired and don’t bother to smile back to me.

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breathe in. I was tired. My feet hurt. I can feel my baby moved. I can see how tired my son was at that time. We both were just came back from school and yet to get any rest.

At that time, I was not sure exactly what was happened. But, I remember that I was calm and more relaxed. I offered my son some drink and he willingly took it without much questions.

As I watched people passing by, I remembered that I was smiling as I trying myself to be as calm as possible. When I found myself ready, I said to my son, “I think we can move now. Let’s find the car.”

Yes!
Somehow, we walked to the way as we entered and in a few seconds we found ourselves in our car.

Truly, I can’t remember why I forgot where I parked and how could possibly I found it later.

Most importantly, I remembered how diligent my son holding my hands. I remembered how easy it was to remember and make new decision when I was in a calm and stable state.

Finding a way out could be a hard time for some of us. Though the place, situation and circumstances seem to be ordinary (nothing unusual about it), we can be lost and stuck in the middle of our way trying to get out.

Be calm.

Accept the fact of the situation that we face.

Think of the best way out.

Make decision and take necessary action.

.

Making decisions? What is your experience?

Working with people from different background, allows us to appreciate beyond what we have. There are moments when we listen to different way and style of communicating. There are times when we need to find the right tune to speak to different people.

These experiences made us as a different person. Changing and adapting is another survival skills that we need as we enter a new environment of any situation.

Working in a hybrid organization simply means to work with many bosses. Receiving many instructions, orders and fulfilling the needs of different units. Well, this is another situation, which could stress us out.

Regardless of the situation we might want to review the decisions that we made. Or maybe, do we need to make correction over what we had decided?

A friend of mine said to me, “When you are not sure about your decision, delay it.”

I paused. We normally will ask ourselves of what exactly we wanted when we make a decision. Most of the time, only after the decision made, that we ponder upon.

Many realized that we make decisions every day. We decide what to eat, where to eat, what to wear what to be put on. Small decisions could some time lead to a bigger opportunity.

Me?

I decided to leave something that many said to be comfortable.

I decided to move out from a place where other people wanted to go.

I decided to leave the ‘millions’ of what people thought belongs to me.

I decided to take longer and tougher route to be ‘free’.

I decided to live less for more.

 

How was it started?

As far as I remember, it started on a day when I decided to join a Facebook group, a group where people from different background and talents are gathered. They share about what they do best with a number of people who lead the content in the group.

It was simply a tiny and small decision. Joining a Facebook group.

As we move on, we still continue making decisions. We decide almost everything about ourselves and sometime, we make decisions for others too. Some of us caught in a bad decision and stuck ourselves for long.

What can be done once a wrong decision made?
+ Simply accept that the decision was wrong. Sometime, we need to tell ourselves loudly (loud enough for us to hear), “I have made a wrong decision.”

+ Then, think of ways to move on.

+ Make another decision.

Leaving the spot where we stuck is far more important, rather than crying over what had happened. Making mistakes are normal, but how we move on and over come the situation makes it significant.

Working with a group of people, need us to organize, be organized. Though it is not easy, it is always possible to be done. Having a people in a group means we have bigger resources that we can share.

Still, have you ever thought of any small decision that made you end up with a bigger impact in life?

Have it brought you bigger opportunity, in any way?

Tell your story. Write 500 words a day.

 

Have a great 2015 ahead!