IT IS ABOUT YOU, NOT YOUR GENDER

I remember once when I was talking to a few friends over lunch. One of the girl at the table said, “You know, I am not happy with some interview questions that posted to us ladies who are in business.”

“Oh, what about it?” I asked spontaneously.

“You see, they always thought that those ladies who ventured into business are only ladies with problems.” She continued.

“Really?” another girl at the end of the table suddenly raised her voice. All of us started to give full attention to what our friend going to say next.

“Many shared stories about ladies who are in business, and become successful in what they do because of their bad experience in life. Many were highlighted as widow, divorcee or even those who were cheated or being manipulated in some ways.

They always make stories in such that women were driven into business because of poverty, hatred and anger. I don’t agree to that!”

“I got your point.” I said softly as I continue to drink my orange juice, which tasted just nice. Not to sour, not too thick, not too sweet.

She continued before anyone else could say anything.

“I would rather be supportive to stories that share about women who are successful in business not because of their gender. The stories shared should be highlighted more on how do they do it technically.

What are the best practices that they implement in their current venture, and how do they adapt with changes of the economy and the current social development of the community.

I guess, all of us should crafted better stories ourselves. It should no longer focusing on how bad we were before. Sharing of stories should be made for practical sharing.

It must benefit others as they can copy and made it even better. Then only, we can be truly be part of the business circle, not simply stand and taken as fillers or filling in the quota.”

It was a long ‘speech’ that I ever heard over lunch. I don’t know. In a way, I agreed with what she said. And at the same time, I truly understand that the reality for women out there, are basically tough enough to be heard.

I guess, it is true that woman is like a tea bag. We only know how strong it is, until we put it in hot water.
.
min punb trip singapore

WHEN CHOICES ARE DIFFICULT, DELAY OUR JUDGMENT.

My daily life revolves among my family, friends and the community. Still, what happened in my house is the closest to my memory and heart above all.

I remembered how my daughter was whining about her tuition class. This class specifically arranged by her school for the students to prepare for a special exam taken by all final year students in primary level before entering secondary level. Here, it is called as UPSR.

One night, she was complaining about how the teachers handle the learning session.

”Mom, why do you need to send me for the tuition class?”

I looked at her, still wondering what exactly she wanted to say.

“Why should I go for such additional class?”she broke into tears.

“Well, if you think you want to stop, it is fine. Tell your teacher that tonight is your last class. You don’t have to attend the class.” I simply answer her without looking as I was about to get angry.

As a mother, I made the best effort in any way to help her, including paying extra for additional class. In a way, I felt a bit uneasy and sad with what she said. I was thinking that the class should be able to help her in her study.

 

gambar aanak-anak

 

Later that night, I asked my husband to talk to her, as I know I will not be able to control my anger.

The next day, I saw my husband sitting with her, explaining the basic concept of decimal, and how to use the concept in our daily life, especially when it comes to calculation involving money.

The following day, I asked her again, knowing that I am much better in control of myself.

“So, how was your class?” I asked casually.

“Mom, the teacher in our class showed us a different way to calculate. But, in the tuition class, this teacher shows us something else. I am confused!”

“Then, have you decided about the class?”

She kept quiet, and I continue.

“You see… when the teacher showed us many ways to solve one problem, it means we have more option to choose. That is even better. At the end of the day, they wanted us to find the answer, the solution.

It is still our choice to choose any one of the ways to solve it.

That is something that we need to cherish and be thankful.
There is no need to be stressed out. Take it easy. Choose the best way to get the answer. ”

 

She smiled. I know that she has closed the case of withdrawing herself from the class.

I realized that our life as an adult is not much different from our children. Sometime, when we find many ways to solve one issue, we become even worst. We find it difficult to make decision to choose.

This could lead us to another stressful situation, which unintentionally created by ourselves.

It would be a good idea to take a day or two, and talk to other people to get new insights and ideas. Find out new opinion of others, while keeping our own judgment to ourselves.

When we come into a situation, delaying our judgment is an option.

EAT THAT FROG FIRST!

As parents, we have certain expectation that we set for ourselves and for our children. There are many items in the list, and our job become harder to prioritise. There are items which are urgent and some which are urgent and important.

Well, the number of our children in family matters too.

Still, how normally we set what we need ned to complete and do?

I remember once when I decided to do things which I love most, and left the rest for later. I love to have rest and lay down for few minutes as I reach home everyday. However, I found that it effect my concentration on later work which I quite don’t like.

min selfie froggie 5
So, I made a change in my routine. Instead of completing and doing things that I love the most, I started with things which I don’t like doing.

How about you?
How do you normally handle things around at home?

Will you start doing things that you like and move to the rest later?
Or, you will complete those you don’t like doing first?

.

Choice and Decision: Ready to take charge?

Recently, I met a friend who came to me and share her current situation. Well, basically it is about a dilemma. I guess many of us had the same experience. Let me share with you the story.

My friend is an educated lady. She got a better opportunity, even much better that what I had. She got the chance to further her study abroad while I simply started my after graduate life as a preschool teacher.

After years of her study, she came back but decided not to pursue her field of study due to some family and relatively personal situation. As usual, she becomes the home manager which is the busiest job one can have.

With 3 kids and a husband who go out to work everyday, she lives a happy life. Until one day, she decided to venture into something new. That is when she called me up for a meeting.

The dilemma?

Simply because she wanted to start a kindergarten business and her family and in-laws are against the idea.

“What? A kindergarten? Why don’t you start a better business?”
“Seriously? It doesn’t sound like you!”

Those are among the comment that she received. So, she purposely wanted to meet me to get second opinion, she said.

“Do you have any specific plan?” I asked her as I had myself sitting comfortably in front of her.

“Yes, I do. I will find a suitable kindergarten program to start with. I had saved some amount of money which I believe I can start as my capital.”

“Well, if you had the plan already in mind, I am not the right person to talk to?”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I think you should talk to a kindergarten program provider, not me.”

“Oh…actually, I need your opinion. What do you think?”

I smiled. As usual I remember that many of us will normally came across a similar situation. We had the decision in mind, but simply wanted to comfort ourselves by asking others for confirmation and approval.

Why is that so?
Are we looking for another reason not to take charge of our decision?
Are we the kind of decision maker who do not have the confident?
Are we making the decision based on our emotions, which create such uncertainty?

Do we really know what we are getting into?

First of all, getting and looking for advise is when a decision is not made. Once we decided of something, we normally tend to find a way to listen only to what we wanted to hear. This will make the situation even worst.

Second, the more we asked people around about the decision that we have made, the worst it become. It diverts our focus on the implementation into searching for reasons and excuses.

Third, it does not help us building the right self-confidence at all!

Finally, we are simply putting ourselves into trouble, which most of the time does not even exist.

Instead of reaching towards success and focusing on what works, we are making our negative imagination become a reality.

Do our homework.
Get the right information.
Make the decision.
Ready to make it work.
Take charge!
.

Planning to Change, Change to Plan

Many of us do have plan. In fact, we plan it so well that we seem to be able to achieve what we have planned. Later, we realized that things become so much easy that we don’t really have to plan.

There is nothing much to think about, no worries at all. It is so simple that everything is at our fingertips.

Have you experienced this before?

It makes sense that when things become so familiar to us, it is just a piece of cake to be completed. We become an expert in the particular field as we do it almost 100 thousands time. We understand the flow and the system so well that we become the expert in the particular area of usage.

In many situations, as things become so easy, it makes many of us do not see, and forgot to think about “what’s next?”

Usually, those who reach this level will start to think of a new plan.
A plan to move forward. A plan to change.

I remember when my 11 years old daughter asked me one day. She looked confused. She said, “Mom, I received the award for best progressing student. But, why my class level being lowered next year?”

Se looked very sad and confused as she told me the news.

“Well, that’s a good sign.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it means that many more of your friends are also progressing well. Just like you. You made changes to your marks and your friend make changes in their grades.”

“Oh…so, it is alright for me to be sent to a lower level class?”

“Look. What is more important now is the change that you have made to your achievement. Either a lower or a higher class, will that stop you from making more progress and achievement?”

“Er… I guess not.”

After the conversation, I saw her smiling and I know that she felt relieved.

As a mother, we need to celebrate little changes that our children made. It is their plan that makes the change work. It is the change of plan that makes the different of the result.

When we focus to the changes that we want to make, it normally changes the plan that we prepared. Some would like to focus on the process and some focus on the end result.

Whichever focus we choose to make, it depends on the action plan. As we plan, we will find that we become more focus. Regardless of the challenges and result, we understand that there’s no guarantee for success.

Nonetheless, the possibility to achieve our goal by planning can be increased. When we find that we need to change, it reflects that we have move on. Unless and until we take necessary action on our plan, changes will not be possible.

Therefore, have a plan ready and change it when necessary.

So, what is your situation?

Is it time to change?

Is there any plan for change?

What is our sharing lesson?

It becomes a trend to hit ‘share’ button on any social media platform. It is available in most platforms while different terms and icons are used. Well, people always say, “Sharing is caring.”
But, what will you share?

What exactly share means to us?

Still, in general, we do share to benefit others while keeping ourselves to be treated fair.

When we talk about sharing, in relates closely with another word, ‘privacy’.

How far do we share that we can ensure our privacy is protected?

Once my daughter said to me, “Mom, sharing is caring.” Later, she was asking me to share my pizza with her.

It was OK. But, I realized that I have to ensure that she understands the true concept of sharing.

Share can only happened when it is permissible. Share needs to be done in proper manner to keep everyone in harmony.

Through social media, people share:

+ photos
+ information
+ facts
+ ideas
+ news
+ stories
…. and the list goes on.

 

Sharing will be more beneficial when it:

+ inspires others
+ changes people life (into something better)
+ encourages other
+ enriching lives
+ makes people happy
+ invite new thoughts and idea
… and the list goes on.

I did ask my children to ‘share’ a lot of things. But, there are also times and things that they can’t share with others.

When it relates to personal matters, “Talk to me first. Tell me and I will help you.”
When it comes to technical matters, “You can share with your friends in class or ask your teachers immediately.”

At the end of the day, they agreed that what they share need to have the right basis. There are many things that we keep to ourselves, and there are much more that we can share with others.

Even among the siblings, boys and girls can’t share everything.

Being a mother who lives in a house with 6 other children ranging from teenager to preschoolers, it becomes a challenge for me to maintain the ‘sharing’ culture in harmony.

Getting them to understand about sharing is an interesting journey.

Sharing does not necessary makes everyone and everything equals.

It rather makes everyone receive what he needs.

 

My daughters might need more dress, and the boys need more pants.
My teenage son might need more toiletries compared to my little girls.
He might need more expensive reference books compared to cheaper sets of exercise books for the younger ones.

As a mother, I need to share the resources that I have, fairly and not necessary the same for each and every one of them.

Sharing the same resources is another lesson to be learnt.
The best lessons come from HOME.

We as mothers (fathers), become the important resources to be shared, with the people in our ‘home’.

Sharing is about agreeing to give what others need, within our capacity, while keeping everyone in harmony. It gives benefit to others, while maintaining privacy and our own rights.

 

So, what is your ‘sharing’ story?

.