Learning through Observation.

I remembered when I was young. I did not go to any kindergarten or any preschool. Those days, I spent most of my time with my mother. Either at home or following her around.

My mother woke up early in the morning. As early as 4.30 am. She started her morning boiling water and cook breakfast. Our breakfast those days was different. I still smell the rice cooked on the hot stove. Stove that used cut woods, burnt and give heat to the food.

It was nice to smell the salted fish which my mother normally fry, added with some chopped chillies. Most of the mornings, rice was eaten either with fried salted fish with chillies or stir fried tapioca also with chillies.

By 5.30 am, food were packed ready for my father who normally need to leave home to work. He cycle everyday, almost 4 miles to his workplace, a palm oil estate. That was also the main reason why my mother always cooked heavy breakfast every morning.

Most of my childhood memories were with my mother, at home and around her daily routine. I hardly hear her complaint about doing the same thing every morning and every day.

There were once, (after I am married) I asked her. “Mom, how could you  be happy that way?”.

She looked at me and said, “Well, because you are there with me. That’s why I did not send you to school.”

I hardly believe about what she said. Until today, I was asking myself. Was that really the reason? I mean for both ; reason for not sending me to school and the reason that made her happy.

Whatever it is, one thing for sure, I learnt a lot through observation, at home.

I observed how:

+ my mother went through her routine without complaining or whining.

+ my mother set her time and routine

+ my mother used everything around home to prepare food on the table without fail.

+ my mother used her skills to create new challenges in life.

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MAK DAN ANAK PEREMPUAN
In the photo: My mother, Me and my 2 elder sisters.

 

Above all, I am now able to recall, how my mother used to ‘schooling’ me without having me to go to school.

I wonder what would the memories that I will have and going to have with my own children?

How about you?
What was the most memorable journey you had with your Mother?

Or perhaps the right question is, what will be the most memorable life experience that you plan to have with your children?

What is our sharing lesson?

It becomes a trend to hit ‘share’ button on any social media platform. It is available in most platforms while different terms and icons are used. Well, people always say, “Sharing is caring.”
But, what will you share?

What exactly share means to us?

Still, in general, we do share to benefit others while keeping ourselves to be treated fair.

When we talk about sharing, in relates closely with another word, ‘privacy’.

How far do we share that we can ensure our privacy is protected?

Once my daughter said to me, “Mom, sharing is caring.” Later, she was asking me to share my pizza with her.

It was OK. But, I realized that I have to ensure that she understands the true concept of sharing.

Share can only happened when it is permissible. Share needs to be done in proper manner to keep everyone in harmony.

Through social media, people share:

+ photos
+ information
+ facts
+ ideas
+ news
+ stories
…. and the list goes on.

 

Sharing will be more beneficial when it:

+ inspires others
+ changes people life (into something better)
+ encourages other
+ enriching lives
+ makes people happy
+ invite new thoughts and idea
… and the list goes on.

I did ask my children to ‘share’ a lot of things. But, there are also times and things that they can’t share with others.

When it relates to personal matters, “Talk to me first. Tell me and I will help you.”
When it comes to technical matters, “You can share with your friends in class or ask your teachers immediately.”

At the end of the day, they agreed that what they share need to have the right basis. There are many things that we keep to ourselves, and there are much more that we can share with others.

Even among the siblings, boys and girls can’t share everything.

Being a mother who lives in a house with 6 other children ranging from teenager to preschoolers, it becomes a challenge for me to maintain the ‘sharing’ culture in harmony.

Getting them to understand about sharing is an interesting journey.

Sharing does not necessary makes everyone and everything equals.

It rather makes everyone receive what he needs.

 

My daughters might need more dress, and the boys need more pants.
My teenage son might need more toiletries compared to my little girls.
He might need more expensive reference books compared to cheaper sets of exercise books for the younger ones.

As a mother, I need to share the resources that I have, fairly and not necessary the same for each and every one of them.

Sharing the same resources is another lesson to be learnt.
The best lessons come from HOME.

We as mothers (fathers), become the important resources to be shared, with the people in our ‘home’.

Sharing is about agreeing to give what others need, within our capacity, while keeping everyone in harmony. It gives benefit to others, while maintaining privacy and our own rights.

 

So, what is your ‘sharing’ story?

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Growth in Business : Beyond Sales.

I had a chance to meet up with a few old friends few months back. It was kind of a ‘meeting’ but what we did was enjoying our lunch. Our story revolves around our daily life, families and business. Though it was not a well-planned meet up, we had a chance to gather information and exchange experience of current and past.

“So, how’s your new business?” asked one of my friends who sat next to me while I was enjoying my food.

“Oh, which one?” I grinned.

“Oh, how did you plan to exit your business earlier? We were thinking of doing something new next year. What do you think?”

“I believe you have a plan ready in mind.” I smiled to them.

“You see, exiting from what we are now needs a plan. Personally, I took 3 years to see clearly of what exactly is my exit plan.”

“3 years?” both of them looked at me.

“Yes. Well, you know. It was kind of a lonely journey. Though we manage the business well, we did not think much about the company growth. We had little understanding about doing business with new partners and how to build our company. “

I stopped as I saw all eyes were on me. I know that I have to continue.

“We are in a business where everything is there, including the brand and the system. We are happy with the income and the bank statement that we receive every month. After a while, I personally came to a stage of thinking, what’s next?” I saw them nodding as they listened to what I just said.

“People told us that it is normal to take business loan and bank facilities. But, we hardly get the right advice on using the best way of building our company. Many advised us on sales, people and system in our business.

We can have a lot of money and be happy with our sales in our company. But, what’s next? How about the growth of the company? When can we move on to the next business venture? When can we have more new partners in the company? “

“Yeah, I think I got your point. I guess, our current business is not really ours.” said the girl in front of me.

“What do you mean?” asked the one sat next to me.

She continued, “You see. Customers are not in our control. Once our business is only about sales, I don’t see the way to move forward. If our objectives is only to make money with one company, than, we can simply continue with what we do now.”

I continue to focus on my food, which was left alone for few minutes ago.

She continued,” I think I understand now. I am also imagining that I have a business, which grow with the people. I would want to be somewhere else and still able to have a steady income.”

“I guess, we have to decide whether we still wanted to work in the business or on the business.” said, the girl sat next to me, softly but loud enough for everyone to hear.

The three of us enjoyed our lunch that day with our mind full of thoughts. As I went home, I realized that there are so much that we need to learn in business.

[1]

We learnt a lot about developing our business based on one company. We grow our sales, but not our business.

[2]

We know that we need to build our business, and the company is a platform and a vehicle for us to move on.

We only think about who will take over our business and continue it when we are not around, when we already half way in the business. We are not exposed on how to have a good succession plan in mind, right from the beginning.

[3]

We have heard many success stories from all over the world. We hardly being told that growing in business need a skill and knowledge about ‘company building’.

[3]

We attended many trainings, courses and receive advises mainly to start, increase and maintain the revenue of the business in a company. We were not being exposed to the fact that a business grow, with a group of people through a process of building more than one company.

[4]

We have seen many businesses grow through their family lines and members. Little that we know about those husband and wife, parents and children who were in business had a company structure that allows them to do business professionally.

They might look as if they are working in the same company, where actually they are working only in the same corporation but in different companies.

‘Exit plan’ in a business is a process. Succession plan is not an event.

Making a new Decision : Finding a Way Out

I had once lost in a shopping mall while carrying my 2 months going-to-be-born baby. It was an experience which I can’t recall why would I forgot where did I park my car.

Well, it was 12 years ago in the closest shopping mall to my home. Coming home after work with my stepson who was only 4 years old at that time, we decided to drop by to the nearest mall. It was the normal, usual, weekly shopping place for our family.

Upon exiting the mall, entering the car park, I realized that “it was not the same’ place as I entered to park my car. I held my son’s hand and make at least 3 rounds at the same level to find my car.

Then, we move down to the lower level as I thought that I might be at the wrong level. Up to the second round, my son said softly, ”Mom, can we take a taxi home?”

I looked at him and I know that he was tired. I said, “Nobody will get our car later. Wait, let us find it together.” He nodded slowly and I know he was trying his best to say yes to me.

I then brought my son to move back in the mall. We found exactly the door that we entered earlier. There was a nice bench nearby and I asked him to sit with me. I said, “Let’s take a rest for a while. “ I smiled, though I know he was tired and don’t bother to smile back to me.

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breathe in. I was tired. My feet hurt. I can feel my baby moved. I can see how tired my son was at that time. We both were just came back from school and yet to get any rest.

At that time, I was not sure exactly what was happened. But, I remember that I was calm and more relaxed. I offered my son some drink and he willingly took it without much questions.

As I watched people passing by, I remembered that I was smiling as I trying myself to be as calm as possible. When I found myself ready, I said to my son, “I think we can move now. Let’s find the car.”

Yes!
Somehow, we walked to the way as we entered and in a few seconds we found ourselves in our car.

Truly, I can’t remember why I forgot where I parked and how could possibly I found it later.

Most importantly, I remembered how diligent my son holding my hands. I remembered how easy it was to remember and make new decision when I was in a calm and stable state.

Finding a way out could be a hard time for some of us. Though the place, situation and circumstances seem to be ordinary (nothing unusual about it), we can be lost and stuck in the middle of our way trying to get out.

Be calm.

Accept the fact of the situation that we face.

Think of the best way out.

Make decision and take necessary action.

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Making decisions? What is your experience?

Working with people from different background, allows us to appreciate beyond what we have. There are moments when we listen to different way and style of communicating. There are times when we need to find the right tune to speak to different people.

These experiences made us as a different person. Changing and adapting is another survival skills that we need as we enter a new environment of any situation.

Working in a hybrid organization simply means to work with many bosses. Receiving many instructions, orders and fulfilling the needs of different units. Well, this is another situation, which could stress us out.

Regardless of the situation we might want to review the decisions that we made. Or maybe, do we need to make correction over what we had decided?

A friend of mine said to me, “When you are not sure about your decision, delay it.”

I paused. We normally will ask ourselves of what exactly we wanted when we make a decision. Most of the time, only after the decision made, that we ponder upon.

Many realized that we make decisions every day. We decide what to eat, where to eat, what to wear what to be put on. Small decisions could some time lead to a bigger opportunity.

Me?

I decided to leave something that many said to be comfortable.

I decided to move out from a place where other people wanted to go.

I decided to leave the ‘millions’ of what people thought belongs to me.

I decided to take longer and tougher route to be ‘free’.

I decided to live less for more.

 

How was it started?

As far as I remember, it started on a day when I decided to join a Facebook group, a group where people from different background and talents are gathered. They share about what they do best with a number of people who lead the content in the group.

It was simply a tiny and small decision. Joining a Facebook group.

As we move on, we still continue making decisions. We decide almost everything about ourselves and sometime, we make decisions for others too. Some of us caught in a bad decision and stuck ourselves for long.

What can be done once a wrong decision made?
+ Simply accept that the decision was wrong. Sometime, we need to tell ourselves loudly (loud enough for us to hear), “I have made a wrong decision.”

+ Then, think of ways to move on.

+ Make another decision.

Leaving the spot where we stuck is far more important, rather than crying over what had happened. Making mistakes are normal, but how we move on and over come the situation makes it significant.

Working with a group of people, need us to organize, be organized. Though it is not easy, it is always possible to be done. Having a people in a group means we have bigger resources that we can share.

Still, have you ever thought of any small decision that made you end up with a bigger impact in life?

Have it brought you bigger opportunity, in any way?

Tell your story. Write 500 words a day.

 

Have a great 2015 ahead!

Living in a world full of creators.

We love creations. We do create something every day. Either it is something new or an improvisation of what is already available, we do create.

Sometime we create a new way of cooking a similar dish.

We create a new style of putting our scarf.

We create a new route going to work.

We create new routine after office hour.

We create new network among friends.

Well, we do create.

In many ways, we might not realized that we do create things (or ways of doing things) based on what we belief. At the same time, it reflects our values.

Those who admire arts and value it, normally create something, which will appreciate art by itself.

They believe, art is the essence of a lively life.
Those who are conscious about time, normally tend to create something, which reduce and enrich time consumption.

They believe, time is the key to success.

 

Those who are concern about their health will tend to create something, which relate to healthy diet, fitness and wellness.

They believe, being healthy is the ultimate aim.

 

Then, in the process of creating, what is your value?

Will the existing creation and what is available around us, made what we value in life change?

Will it later, change our belief?